Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Mirror of Stodgy Elf

Stodgy Legs Elf gazed in the mirror. She remembered a time when the moon caused her long, golden hair to shimmer playfully as she tossed it behind her shoulders without concern. Dashing through the forest on a cool summer evening, muscles would ripple across her back and through her legs. She was much more social back then, much more full of energy... but perhaps not quite as experienced or wise, and surely a little too reckless. Now her hair was darker and shorter and touched by gray strands. Wrinkles played around her eyes and she had a tightness about her mouth. Her skin sagged, ever-so slightly along her back. Her legs... well... she didn't want to think too much about her legs.

She had been trying very hard to make her short, stodgy legs move fast and become less stodgy. It had been six months now. Her muscles felt a little more solid, but the size of her legs remained the same. "I am a thickly built, middle-aged elf", she said to herself, "and nothing is changing about that." A sigh fell from her lips as she sank to the floor, crossing her stodgy legs and attempting to stretch her aching back. Recently, the imps have been busy thrusting daggers of doom into her lower back, hips and knees while she slept. At least that is the only explanation Stodgy could think of for the growing pain. Imps could be very cruel. Especially as an elf became older.

Stodgy Legs thought she might need to visit the medicine shaman in the Woods of Pharmantra to see if there was something physically wrong with her. "The year is half over and I must do something. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to shrink my legs."

In the meantime, Stodgy planned to renew her motivation. July 2 was half way through the year, and that much time gave her a measured five pounds per month to lose in order to make her goal. "That is reasonable", she reasoned.

Using her philosophy based on the river moss, she set forth with the following plan:

Continue eating healthy, whole foods... but stick to planned snacks and meals. Eating extras and betweens is adding up, even if they are healthy!

1 hour workout per day. 2+ hours natural activity.

M-Th: Gym. Weights & Cardio. Walk Zero the Imp Dog

Friday: Hiking

Saturday: vigorous housework

Sunday: yoga

"I must be strong", thought Stodgy Legs Elf. "I'm not truly ancient yet!"

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