Monday, January 26, 2009

At the Green Dragon

Stodgy Legs Elf was green. She was very green around the gills today. "I have been struck by the Green Dragon illness" thought Stodgy Legs. She did not want to rise up from her soft feathery bed, let alone run in the Forest of Training from Orc.

"One of the discouraging moments in training is when an illness sets you back weeks" moaned Stodgy Legs. She was trying very hard not to feel depressed.


Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Old Forest

Stodgy Legs Elf was in an old forest, feeling old. Every time she tried to run from Orc for more than one mile she would get a pounding headache. Her Elvish heart would beat as if it were trying to fly out of her chest. "I will have to revise my goals and plans" thought Stodgy Legs. Her lips felt like quivering, but she held them firm. Stodgy looked down at her legs. "Why can't you be willowy and fleet?" she asked them.

The best plans are the plans that can be followed. Stodgy Legs knew this. "I must not be too idealistic" she thought. "I must embrace my limitations and love my stodgy legs." So she made the following revision to her plan:

"I cannot run more than one mile at a time. Therefore I will place strategic faerie protection more frequently here and there and I will increase my time with more faerie walking." Stodgy Legs Elf told her blog.

Week Six
M- 5 min walk, 8 min Orc, 3 min Faerie, 5 min Orc, 3 min Faerie, 3 min Orc, 5 min Faerie
W- 5 min walk, 10 min Orc, 3 min Faerie, 5 min Orc, 5 min Faerie, 3 min Orc, 5 min Faerie
F- 10 min Orc, 3 min Faerie, 10 min Orc, 8 min Faerie
TTh - 45 mins weight training
SSu - Yoga

Week Seven
MWF - 5 min walk, 10 min Orc, 3 min Faerie, 10 min Orc, 3 min Faerie, 10 min Orc
TTh - 45 mins weight training
SSu - Yoga

Week Eight
MWF- 5 min walk, 10 min Orc, 2 min Faerie, 10 min Orc, 2 min Faerie, 10 min Orc
TTh - 45 mins weight training
SSu - Yoga

Week Nine
MWF- 5 min walk, 10 min Orc, 1 min Faerie, 10 min Orc, 1 min Faerie, 10 min Orc
TTh - 45 mins weight training
SSu - Yoga

Monday, January 12, 2009

Orc Clobbers Stodgy Legs

It was week #4 and Orc was chasing Stodgy Legs Elf. This was the fourth time Orc had chased her this morning in the Forest of Training. Stodgy was very tired and very sore. Her heart was thumping in her chest to the beat of Orc's clanking feet behind her. As her heart sped up, so did Orc's feet. Thumpity-clank! Thumpity-clank! The beat pounded in Stodgy's ears. "I am going to die", thought Stodgy Legs. "Orc will clobber me with his huge club and I will die."

Half-way through the third running spurt, Stodgy's head split with pain. "Orc has clobbered me right in my head", moaned Stodgy Legs. She remembered from years ago how her head would swell with blood sometimes as she ran, and how she would get migraine headaches when her heart beat was too high. This is how Orc's club felt now. Stodgy felt defeated and overwhelmed.

"I will not give up, but I cannot run with Orc's club clobbering my head", Stodgy Legs Elf said to her feet. Her feet slowed to a walk. Faerie rushed in and threw a dome of protection around her. Stodgy felt her shoulders slump. "I cannot run for that long from Orc yet," she sighed. "I will have to work on my plan. I will have to do week #4 at least twice before I can move on to week #5. I must not die! It is not worth dying!"

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A Short Cut to Mushrooms

Stodgy Legs Elf was in her third week of training with Orc and Faerie. The forest this day was crowded with folks of all types dancing and chasing each other and lifting heavy objects to the sound of musical rhythms.

One nymph dashed about in front of Stodgy Legs looking thin and willowy with luminescent olive skin. "I will never look like that" thought Stodgy, jealously. She began to imagine what it would be like to be thin and willowy with legs that were anything but stodgy. She saw herself running, engulfed with the breath of Sensarali whisking shining tolvietes about her ankles in little rings of light. She was so distracted by the image in her mind that her Orc almost caught one of her ear tips with his club.

Stodgy left the training forest tired but satisfied with her progress. "I will go home and eat healthy mushrooms for breakfast", she thought. But when Stodgy Legs arrived at her home, the mischievous lace faeries had sprinkled frozen lace in piles so deep around her walkway that she had to take a short cut through the back way to get to her breakfast of mushrooms. "I cannot leave the lace on my walkway", mourned Stodgy Legs Elf. How will the delivery gnomes reach my door? Stodgy spent the next many minutes of the day shoveling frozen lace from her walkway. She was very tired from her training in the forest and now she was exhausted. Stodgy Legs Elf was hungry and wanting to sleep. "Mushrooms do not fill me up" she sighed. She also smelled like mouldy ferns and Orc breath. "I need a shower" thought Stodgy Legs Elf.


Friday, January 2, 2009

An Unexpected Party

Stodgy Legs Elf felt like celebrating. Today she had run faster from the Orc than she had in the past fourteen days, and her heart rate had not exceeded the amount that she hoped it would not exceed. "I can already see change", thought Stodgy Legs. "How unexpected."

"I think I will go out and party this weekend by watching Slumdog Millionaire on the magic screen", said Stodgy Legs to herself. So ended week two of couch to 5K, with an unexpected party.